Motivational Monday -- Falling In & Out of Love... With Writing: A Journey

*A Special Note: For this week's Motivational Monday post I decided to shift gears a bit and step outside the box. Instead I decided to share a personal essay I wrote about my ups & downs of my other passion: writing. As you will soon read, my journey with getting back into the groove of writing was far from an easy one and I struggled a lot with it. But as you will see, over time, I was able to push the negativity aside and get back to what I truly love to do. It was a bumpy ride-- but the important thing I hope you take away from this story is that I got THROUGH it. So I hope you can appreciate my story and know that whatever it is you are struggling with right now remember- YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!

**Side, side note: I decided to publish this piece AFTER it was rejected from a lifestyle website. At first I honestly wasn’t gonna publish this and getting rejected after you pour your heart and soul out into something really had me down. But I felt like it was really important for me to publish this anyway because someone needs to see it whose dealing with rejection themselves. I know it can feel defeating when someone rejects you for one reason or another but let this be a lesson to you— if someone doesn’t like what you write, know that someone will.  Publish it yourself. Continue to push through yourself and most importantly don’t give up. Where there is a will there will always be a way.

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It's been quite some time since I've taken some time to actually write and I have no idea what the hell this is gonna be or where this “piece” is even headed but I said to myself, “Ya know what Tiff? It's time to cut the shit, stop putting it off and get back to ME.” Get back to writing. Get back to doing the things I love and are passionate about. The things that keep me sane amongst the insanity and give me a sense of clarity, peace, and accomplishment. And so, here I am. Writing. Just writing…

It's been some time since I took the actual time to even open a blank document and write. In fact, within the past year the most I've written creatively has been a few blog posts on my beauty blog and captions for my social media posts-- THAT’S IT! Imagine! Imagine going from writing every single day for hours on end to not writing at all. (And for those who are wondering if it really was as dramatic as it sounds, the answer is -yes, it was.) One day I powered down my laptop, closed out my docs and literally didn't open it … Until, well, now.

Now don't get me wrong. It's not like I wanted to just stop so abruptly the way I did. And to be quite frank, a lot of the reasons why I stopped writing had to do with some things mentally and personally that I was dealing with.

But if I'm  keeping it all the way REAL with y'all? I didn't miss it… I didn't miss it at all for a while. And it's not that I had found another passion or hobby or something to pass my time that could evoke the joy that came from writing-- in fact, it was the complete opposite. Quitting writing made me realize that I was in essence, quitting myself. I couldn't see it at first. It took me months until the urges, the nostalgia, the itch and pure desire even started to boil inside of me.

It started sporadically, with a thought here and there. Or I'd read an article and it'd inspire me to write as well. Eventually, those thoughts and urges began to pick up and before I knew it I found myself thinking about writing non stop!

When the new year came around I made it a point to draw it in HUGE block letters across my vision board. I made it a top goal of mine. I bought a planner, drafted emails and pitches to editors, created a writing schedule and …. And…. I didn't write not one single thing.

Week 1, I was sick and told myself I would start the following week. The week after that I was too busy catching up from all things I missed while I was sick that I didn't have the time. Week 3, was something else- another excuse, another “next week”, another push off and before I knew it, I was into February and then March.

My “return” to the writing world was looking more like a “groundhogs day” fail! I could not go another month or day doing this! And then.. I went away. Just for the weekend. And while I had taken trips in the mean time and between time, this trip was different. It gave me a different sense of clarity- with everything, including my writing. I'm a writer. It's who I am. Was I really gonna continue to drudge down this road and pick away at who I am, my livelihood, my air?

Just days into June and I'm here, finally WRITING SOMETHING and it feels… It feels like I'm finally breathing again. It feels like my lungs( and mind) are filling up with all the words I had suppressed and stowed away when I wasn't writing and I can't wait to share. For my fellow writers, this is just my story I wanted to share, especially for those who are wondering if they'll ever write again or who are going back and forth with writing.

This writer life isn't for everyone, and like any other passion, hobby or career, it can take its toll and has its fair share of ups and downs. But I encourage you to ride that wave until the tide subsides and go from there.